When Man Locks a Door, He Jumps Out a Window

This has to rank as one of the stupidest adages in modern times: When god closes a door, he opens a window. What does that mean? That with every opportunity, another opportunity presents itself? Since when is a closed door an opportunity? Especially when that door is locked, and the window looks out over a railroad yard thirty stories down?

I suspect that this adage is a popular corruption of a statement Paul of Tarsus wrote: For a wide door for effective service has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. (1 Corinthians 16:9, NASB). Or, what Jesus dictated to John in a letter to a church in the Roman province of Asia (now western Turkey): Behold, I have put before you an open door which no one can shut, because you have a little power, and have kept My word, and have not denied My name. (Relevation 2:8). The idea of an open door as an oppotunity given by God comes from these.

The problem is that few believe in God anymore, but use this phrase anyway for such opportunities as making money or finding a lover. In time this silly-ass adage came about, which deserves the reply of that philosopher of kitsch, Crusty the Clown:

Bart

I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty, but you know, my mom says god never closes a door without opening a window.

Krusty

No offense, kid, but your mom's a dingbat!

— Bart the Fink, The Simpsons, 1996.